Graduation Day Page 18

  No, I am wrong. Though there’s a lack of emotion on Will’s face, he is not calm. The grip he has on the strap of his bag has turned his knuckles white. That and the rapid breaths he takes speak of the emotions swirling beneath the surface. But he doesn’t speak. He doesn’t plead for his life.

  “You remember.” The words are barely a whisper, but the way Will flinches tells me he has heard. Still, I say the words again in case I am wrong. This time my voice is firm. As is my need to understand this boy who has done good even as he has deceived. “You remember The Testing.”

  “No one remembers their Testing,” Stacia snaps.

  But Will doesn’t look at her. His eyes hold mine while he says, “Not exactly.”

  “But you remember something,” Tomas says, taking a step closer to Will.

  Despite Tomas’s obvious anger, Will doesn’t move. His voice is steady when he says, “I remember enough to know that I’ve earned whatever punishment you and Cia think I deserve. Whatever you decide, I’ll accept.”

  “What are you all talking about?” Stacia asks, trying to climb to her feet. Raffe hurries to help her up, but she pushes him away. “Why would Cia and Tomas want to punish you, Will? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

  “Yes.” His voice is quiet but firm. “I have.”

  It is that calm acceptance of what he has done and the punishment he deserves that makes my finger ease on the trigger. If Will were angry or defiant or belligerent I would shoot. But I find myself remembering the boy I first met during The Testing. The one who heard me confess that I didn’t finish one of my tests. Instead of ridiculing me or rolling his eyes as so many of the other candidates would have done, he thanked me for being willing to admit the truth. I saw Will’s heart break when his brother didn’t make it through the first Testing phase. I watched as he killed the boy who was about to kill Tomas in the fourth test, and I know that it’s thanks to his insistence that I was freed from the locked metal box Damone wished me to die in during Induction.

  Which is the real Will? The one who coldly killed or the one who helped me live? I don’t know.

  Slowly, I lower my gun. Tomas frowns as I ask him to get me a bottle of water from the kitchen so we can tend to Stacia’s wound, but he does as I ask.

  As Tomas leaves the room, Stacia shifts, winces, and says, “I don’t understand. How do you remember your Testing? No one else does.” Stacia looks at me. “Do you? Do both of you?” she adds as Tomas walks back through the doorway. Anger flashes from her eyes.

  I choose my words with care. “During The Testing, I discovered a way to record some of what happened. I found the recording and started to remember.”

  “What about Tomas?”

  “The memory-erasure procedure never worked on me.” He sits down next to her and wets a cloth with water. “I’ve always remembered.”

  Tomas starts to wash Stacia’s wound but she pulls away. Jerking her head toward Will, she asks, “What did he do?”

  “I killed people during the fourth test,” Will says. “Then I tried to kill both of them.”

  “Well, I guess that tells us you need to work on your aim.” Stacia winces again but jerks her arm away when Tomas tries to tend to it. “How about me?” she asks, glaring in my direction. “Did I do anything that would make you want to shoot me? Or aren’t I allowed to know what happened?”

  “I don’t know,” I answer truthfully. “I only talked to you once during The Testing. You were with Vic and Tracelyn during the fourth test. You and Vic completed that test. Tracelyn never did.”

  “Do you think I killed her?” Stacia asks. The resentment has faded from her eyes, leaving only pain behind. Pain from the wound or from the thought of committing the murder of someone she knew? It’s impossible to say.

  “I don’t know,” I answer truthfully again.

  “But you think I must have. Otherwise, why else would I be here, right?” Before I can reply, she turns to Tomas and asks for the wet cloth so she can clean her wound, saying that she is the most qualified owing to her field of study. Tomas hands her the cloth but stays nearby as she begins to dab the blood away.

  The set of Stacia’s jaw tells me she is done asking questions for now, so I turn back to Will and ask, “When did your Testing memories return?”

  Will shrugs and sits on the ground next to the wall. “Right after Dr. Barnes told us we’d been accepted to the University. When I looked around and didn’t see Gill in the room, I knew something was wrong.”

  I remember that Will had to be restrained and was taken away by officials when he realized his brother wasn’t there. It took days before he returned.

  While Will explains the flashes of memories he experienced, Stacia lets Tomas help finish cleaning up the bloody wound. I shift closer so I can see it. The hole made by the bullet isn’t large. Perhaps a half inch in diameter. Maybe less. But the swelling and red rim around the injury are concerning. As is the blood that continues to trickle out. Since this is the only puncture in Stacia’s arm, I have to conclude that the bullet is lodged inside.

  Stacia comes to the same conclusion and decides to bandage up the arm instead of doing anything more to treat it. “I can’t dig the bullet out myself. And even if I could I’m sure it would do more harm than good. I wish I had broken into the residence pharmacy and taken some of the good pain meds. All I have are some anti-inflammatories.”

  “I mixed some herbal remedies with water,” Tomas says, taking the bottle marked with a circle out of his bag. “It’ll take away the pain, but there’s a chance it will also put you to sleep.”

  Stacia looks at the bottle and shakes her head. That simple movement makes her wince. In a strained voice she says, “I think I’m going to need a clear head for this. But if you don’t mind, I’ll hold on to it for later.”

  When Tomas hands her the bottle, she opens it and smells the contents. After a moment, she asks him to pour some of the liquid on one of the bandages she brought with her. I pull the ointment from my bag and hand it to Stacia for her to use on the wound as well. The easing of tension in her shoulders tells me that the combination might be enough to help get her through what is to come.

  Before we discuss that, there is still something I have to know. “Why did you tell Enzo about the pulse radio in my room?”

  “If I give the wrong answer are you going to threaten to shoot me like you did with Will?” She gives me the same smile I remember from The Testing dining hall. “Is this my test, Cia?”

  “Would you pass?” I ask, conscious of the gun in my hand. “Not only was Enzo burned and almost killed, but it happened in my room. If it weren’t for Ian, I would have been detained by officials. I might even be dead right now. You set that up. I think it’s fair to ask why.”

  Stacia looks around the room. All eyes are on her. “When we went into the library, Enzo started asking a lot of questions about you. He said he was worried that you might be doing something that could get you in trouble with Professor Holt and he wanted to help. I figured it was the perfect opportunity. You hadn’t come up with a test, and there wasn’t any more time to waste. So I told Enzo you had found some recording that you thought was important and were trying to decide whether to turn it over to the president. He went after the recording and proved he wasn’t on our side. I’m sorry he got hurt, but I did us a favor.”

  “All you proved was that Enzo wanted to see what was on that recording,” I say. “You have no idea what his motives were.”

  “Cia’s right.” Will speaks up from his spot in the corner. “Enzo could have been worried enough about Cia that he was willing to risk punishment in order to learn what trouble she might be facing.”

  “Or he could have been spying on her and was looking to collect a reward for turning information over to Dr. Barnes,” Stacia shoots back.

  And we may never know. As much as I want to believe Enzo will pull through, I saw how badly injured he was. It is impossible to imagine the pain he will endure and how he will
survive it in order to come back from that.

  “Worrying about what’s been done isn’t going to help us now,” Raffe says. “Enzo will recover or he won’t. We can’t change that outcome. The only thing we can do is learn from the mistakes made and make sure we don’t make the same ones in the future.” When no one contradicts him, he adds, “The only way to prevent something like this from happening again is to agree that one person makes the final call on how we move forward from here. And the only reason we’re having this discussion is because of Cia. She pushed for information about The Testing and found the truth behind Symon and the rebellion. The president asked for her help. Cia is our leader. From my position, whatever decision she makes on something should be final. Does everyone else agree?”

  Will is the first to nod. Not that what he thinks truly matters, since he is not a part of this. Not really. Tomas studies Raffe and then gives his assent, which leaves only Stacia. I still do not know whether she believes in this cause or if she is only doing it for a reward she thinks she’ll be given once it’s over. Whatever her reason, it is clear she is not happy when she sighs and says, “Fine. Now can we talk about what we plan to do next? We don’t have much time.”

  I push my worries about Stacia to the side. Now that the others have arrived, we are faced with two unanticipated problems. Will’s presence and Stacia’s injury. Tonight will be physically and emotionally challenging. I don’t believe Stacia can handle it in her condition. However, I am certain she won’t allow herself to be left behind. And from the way Tomas is acting, it’s clear he is unwilling to discuss strategy with Will in the room. But we really don’t have a choice.

  Raffe doesn’t seem to have the same concern since he asks, “So now what?”

  Tomas and I look at each other. I can tell he doesn’t want to talk, but as this group’s leader the decision is mine.

  Taking a deep breath, I tell them about my brother and what is happening now in the rebel camp. Raffe and Stacia merely nod when I mention Zeen. They listen as, pulling out the list, I explain the strategy Tomas and I have devised. Two teams. Four targets. All to be reached between dusk and dawn, starting tonight.

  “But we might have to revise that plan now that Stacia is injured,” I admit. “Maybe Ian . . .”

  “No.” Stacia shifts and winces but says, “I’m going. You can’t force me to stay behind.”

  “She’s right,” Raffe says. “We need all of us to make this work. Even if we could get word to Ian, I don’t think he’d leave campus. He’s determined to talk to as many of the rebel students as he can and sway them to ignore Symon’s orders. If Stacia thinks she can handle this, then she should try. If she starts having problems then we’ll deal with it.”

  “Fair enough,” Stacia agrees. “So which one of you is going to be lucky enough to team up with me?”

  “I will,” Tomas offers. “Out of all of us, I’d be the best one to help with the pain if it gets too bad.”

  That’s not the real reason. The look Tomas gives me as I start to object tells me I’m right. Any one of us would be able to apply ointment or dab on some of the plant-doctored solution that Tomas has created. But while I am sure Tomas would prefer to face what this night will bring together, as we faced so much of The Testing, doing so would force us to trust the two members of the other team to do exactly as they say they will. Tomas does not fully trust Raffe. I do not trust Stacia. Knowing that, this pairing is the only one that makes sense.

  Raffe asks, “Who’s going after Symon?”

  “Who’s this Symon?” Will asks.

  “He’s someone who works with Dr. Barnes.” Considering that enough explanation, I turn back to Raffe. “My brother is taking care of Symon.”

  Raffe studies me for a moment and nods. “Even without Symon, I’m not sure we can cover all the ground that needs to be covered in this time frame.” He glances at the map I drew earlier with the locations of the targets. “If we want to draw the Safety officials away, the explosions will have to happen in the unrevitalized area on the other side of the city. Just avoiding the Safety officials is going to make getting there a challenge. Especially since they must be looking for all of us by now. Then add in the time to scout locations where we’re certain no one will be injured and set the explosions . . .”

  “You need someone the Safety officials aren’t looking for to set the explosions,” Will says from the corner. “I volunteer.” When I shake my head, Will says, “The Safety officials aren’t searching for me. I can make it through the city faster than you can. We saw the outskirts of that area of the city during Induction, so I know where I’m going. And no one will think twice if they see me after the explosions go off. They’ll be looking for the four of you, only you won’t be on the city streets. When I’m done, I’ll come back here and be ready to help if you need it.”

  I hate that he makes sense. If he were anyone else . . . “You’re not a part of this,” I say.

  “Of course I am. They took my brother. And even if they hadn’t, I’d still be part of this.” His normally pale face is flushed with passion. “I know I gave you reason to doubt me. The Testing showed me things about myself. Things I’m capable of doing. But it’s because of what I learned that I know I can handle this job.”

  I wait for Tomas, Raffe, or Stacia to say something, but they don’t. Stacia’s flat stare says it all. I am the leader. I decide. I feel the weight of this decision as it settles on my shoulders. Unless I ask for their opinions, they will leave it up to me. Me. The youngest of all of us. Yet, one thing I have learned since coming to Tosu City is that age does not guarantee better decisions or stronger leadership. The ability to put aside personal agendas and decide what is best for the whole does. That is what I now have to do.

  Do I trust Will?

  No.

  Do I believe he can accomplish what he has volunteered to handle?

  Yes. As long as he chooses to carry through with the plan. However, if he decides to run to the nearest University official in order to better his position after he graduates from the University, we will all pay the price.

  I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and open them. “Tomas and I built the timers this morning.” I get up and cross to where the timers and explosives sit. After picking up one of the timers and a canister, I walk over to Will. “You’ll need to attach them when you get to the sites. One needs to be set to detonate at seven. The other should be placed a mile away and explode a half-hour later. That should convince the Safety officials to focus their search on that side of the city.” Handing him the timer, I add, “We also have a third explosive that doesn’t have a timer—”

  “You can’t possibly want him to do this. Think of everything he’s done to us.”

  “I know what he’s done, Tomas. But I also remember what I’ve done too,” I say. “What we’ve both done. Dr. Barnes and The Testing are the reasons Will was put in a position to commit those acts. Will’s here. He’s capable. He deserves a chance to prove that he isn’t the person Dr. Barnes’s tests turned him into.”

  All of us deserve that chance.

  “I’ll show Will how to arm the timers.” Deliberately, I turn my back on Tomas, signaling the discussion is closed. I can feel his anger and hurt. But if I am to be our leader, I cannot allow my feelings for Tomas to get in the way. So I demonstrate the timer to Will and explain how it is to be used with the canister.

  Will explains the process back to me, asks several questions, and then checks the watch he wears on his wrist. “It’s getting late, and I have a lot of ground to travel. I need to get going. If these things are as loud as I think they’ll be, you’ll hear whether or not I’m successful.” As Will carefully packs the canisters in his bag, I walk to our stash of supplies and select a long, sharp knife and a loaded handgun.

  “Here,” I say.

  I can feel Tomas’s eyes on me as I hand Will the weapons. Will’s hand closes over the butt of the gun and he tucks it in his jacket pocket. The ammunition g
oes into the side pocket of his bag, along with the knife and its smooth, deadly blade. I take Stacia’s radio from her and pass it to Will. His hand closes over mine and stays there.

  “Thank you.” His expression is grim. Determined. “I won’t fail you this time. I promise.”

  “Be safe,” I say as he takes the pulse radio out of my hand. “We’re counting on you.”

  “I know.” Will turns away from me and walks to Raffe to ask his opinion about strategic locations to place the canisters.

  Then, armed with Raffe’s instructions and the weapons I have given him, he walks to the doorway, turns, and smiles. In that smile I see the boy who befriended me during the first test. That’s the boy I am counting on.

  “I’ll let you know when I’m in position,” he says. With a wink, he turns and heads out the door.

  “How’s that feel?” Tomas asks behind me.

  When I look over, I see Stacia flexing her arm and nodding. “Better. I would never have thought of putting some crushed Valerian directly on the wound.”

  “That’s why you doctor types need biological engineers to help you come up with the new drugs.” Tomas smiles.

  She smiles back. “Well, I hope Enzo’s getting some of this right now.” She looks at me. “I really did think I was doing the right thing by testing him. I never thought he’d break into your room and get hurt. Otherwise, I would have warned you first.”

  Her regret is for causing me trouble. Not for the injury to Enzo but for choosing a path without checking with me first. She believed I was taking too long to make a decision and did what she thought was necessary for us to succeed. I will have to remember that as we move forward. To keep Stacia from making decisions on her own, especially ones I do not agree with, I will have to make choices with more speed. If we come through this, I doubt I will ever be able to call Stacia my friend again. But just because I personally cannot feel comfortable with her doesn’t mean she is incapable of doing what I need her to accomplish. If I have to be a stronger leader to make her do it, then that’s what I will do.